


Hang On to Your Hat

by MeganMoonlight



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Background James | Lancelot/Percival (Kingsman), Everyone Is Alive, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Gen, Gift Giving, Hats, Humor, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-19 22:42:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4763726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeganMoonlight/pseuds/MeganMoonlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the first time Merlin had received a hat as a gift, he had assumed it was a joke. He did not expect to get any more of them. From everyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hang On to Your Hat

“Here you go.”

Merlin saw a bundle, neatly wrapped in a simple blue paper, being placed in front of him, so that it was quite difficult to ignore it, even if Merlin was in the middle of re-watching the video recording from Percival and Lancelot’s mission. He did not have to turn around to know that Harry was standing a few steps behind him, apparently waiting for him to unwrap the bundle at some point.

“And what, pray tell, is that, Galahad?”

“Why don't you open it and find out? It’ll be much more exciting that way, don’t you think?” Harry’s voice was controlled, but it would be difficult not to hear the slight amusement there, too, and Merlin knew it meant he had something planned. One should always be careful, or at least cautious, every time Harry Hart came up with ideas.

Merlin paused the video and looked down at the blue bundle, sighing quietly, as he adjusted his glasses.

“I assume ye won’t let me get back to work until I open this, will ye.”

“You are absolutely right, as always. You know I can be patient. I don’t think I have anything else planned for today, and I have a lot of time on my hands.”

Harry had just came back from his mission, a simple investigation in France that had ended up lasting six days, two days more than they had expected. Fortunately, there were no other complications and everything went rather smoothly, which meant much less work for Merlin overall, too. It was decided that Harry was to serve as a backup for Amelia if anything went downhill, but until he was informed of the new objective, he indeed had something resembling a “day off.”

Merlin inspected the bundle, just in case, and unwrapped the paper slowly. What he found there was definitely not what he had expected. Not at all. Blast it.

“Harry, what the bloody hell is that?”

“That is a beanie, I believe,” Harry replied. “I’ve heard the weather for the next two weeks is not going to be too pleasant, and after I got back I was passing this brilliant little shop and saw this beanie. I thought it might come in handy. I wouldn’t want you to catch a cold, you know.”

“That is not I’m asking about and ye...”

“Merlin, is there something you forgot to mention?” 

Merlin turned his chair to look at James and Percival, who just entered the room. While Percival remained stone faced, barely raising an eyebrow at them, a huge grin appeared on James’ face as soon as he saw the paper and the... object, currently lying in his lap. None of them, however, looked nor sounded particularly surprised.

As they walked up closer to the computers, Merlin did notice James was walking a few steps behind Percival.

“If we knew you were a fan, we would have bought you a matching scarf or perhaps a shirt,” as James said it, it looked as if he were trying to hide behind the other agent. Percival did not seem to appreciate that fact at all, yet, he did not move away. However, one corner of his mouth did raise in a subtle half-smile when he stepped closer to take a look at the beanie.

Bugger it.

It was a bloody England National Football team beanie.

If the next day Harry smelled the stink of burnt wool, he did not comment on it at all.

***

It wasn’t long, barely a day, before every one of the agents knew about the beanie. It also hadn’t stopped there. A month after getting “the gift,” Merlin had enough hats of various types to fill two drawers in his office. Fortunately, no one had dared to present him with another football related hat. Small miracles, he reckoned. And Harry was more smug than he had a reason to be.

At first Merlin had planned to get rid of the hats, it wouldn’t have taken much to just throw them all away. However, in the end, after a few days of promising himself to get them out of the office, he just left them there. They weren’t really disturbing him all that much, since the drawers he kept the hats in were empty anyway. He also had noticed that every hat was given to him after the agents had finished their missions. It meant they had gotten back safely. Maybe he was a sentimental bastard after all.

Apparently, bringing him hats wasn’t only winding him up. It had turned into a tradition many considered “fun.”

James was the first, right after Harry, who had used the opportunity to buy him a hat. Merlin should have expected to get something ridiculous, since it was James after all, but he was not prepared for what he had seen at all. After James had came back from Wales, the first thing he had done was coming to Merlin with a red bag, a huge smile on his face.

It was a rainbow-coloured hat with earflaps. And a mohawk on top, also multi-coloured. He had just stared at the garment for the next minute. It was really difficult not to. 

“Do you like it?”

Merlin had turned to James, one eyebrow raised, but he did not say anything. James had not seemed to be discouraged by his silence. “I thought it would be quite suitable. It made me think of your colourful personality, you know.” 

Merlin hadn’t even had a chance to react to the statement, because James had disappeared from the room, which was a good choice. That particular hat was now lying in the bottom of the drawer.

Overall, James was the person whose sense of humour was clearly visible in his choice of garments. Then next one he had purchased was even more ridiculous than the rainbow-coloured mohawk hat. It was supposed to be Nessie. A Nessie hat. Merlin had not said anything to that.

After some time, Percival had also bought him a headgear. Merlin had a feeling the agent had been spending far too much time around James, and on missions and in private. At least the hat brought by him had not been as... flashy, but was still standing out. It was a black and white chullo with a reindeer pattern on it. It was very soft, warm and actually very comfortable. And so was the black beanie with a moustache Amelia had brought to him a few days later.

James seemed to be encouraged by seeing everyone bringing hats, so he hadn’t stopped buying Merlin the most colourful ones he could find. 

When Merlin unwrapped the next one, he was actually surprised to see a simple black beanie. He looked up to see if maybe James had anything else prepared, but the agent was just leaning against the chair Percival was occupying.

James must have realized what Merlin was thinking, because his mouth twitched in a small smile.

“Turn it over,” he said.

Merlin did. Of course. He was right thinking that James wouldn’t give him something as simple as a black beanie.

“What possessed you to buy me that?”

“The winter is pretty cold this year. And I believe you don’t have one like that yet.”

“Lancelot, it says ‘Bad Hair Day.’”

“Yes, it does. It is rather brilliant, if I may say so. Percival won't admit it, but he thinks so, too,” James put his hand on Percival’s shoulder as the man sighed.

“Keep me out of this, James,” he said and James looked as if he was about to pout.

“Oh, don’t be like that, dear.”

Merlin shook his head and turned back to look at his computer again, leaving the two men bickering. Before he got back to work, however, he hid the new beanie in the drawer.

***

Only after Eggsy and Roxy had both received their codenames they had found out about Merlin’s “collection.”

Merlin had been wearing the “Bad Hair Day” beanie that day. As he had been talking to the new candidates, explaining what was expected of them, no one had mentioned anything, although he had caught a few surprised glances thrown his way. A few minutes after he had started talking he had heard something similar to stifling a laugh that came from the direction of the main door. He ignored it, since it didn't happen again, but as soon as the candidates went on their first test, he had gone right to the door. 

Just as he had thought, Eggsy had been standing there, looking highly amused, as he had held JB in his arms. Roxy had been standing right next to him, looking half confused, half amused. He had only raised one eyebrow at them.

“I assume both of ye got your missions sorted? Did Arthur say anything?”

Eggsy had shrugged, never looking away from Merlin’s beanie. Honestly, it was only a hat.

“He said we deserve some rest,” Roxy had said when it was clear Eggsy would not do anything besides staring. “Merlin, if I may ask, is that your...?”

Sighing, Merlin had adjusted his glasses. “That was a gift.”

“Wait, so that’s what Harry meant when he was talkin’ ‘bout gettin’ ya that weird hat?” Eggsy had put JB down, and had bitten his lip slightly, which shouldn’t have been as distracting as it had.

“Knowing his sense of humour, yes, I assume it was.”

“Wait, so everyone gets ya these?”

“Thanks to Harry, yes.”

“Ya know, that’s brilliant,” Egssy had said, with a hint of excitement in his voice, which Merlin had knew meant the lad had been most likely planning something. It always reminded him a lot of Harry.

“It really is,” Roxy had agreed and they had grinned at each other.

What Merlin did not expect was how and Eggsy and Roxy would get so competitive about the whole hat business. Not at first, at least.

They both were exceptional on missions. Even if their styles differed vastly, when they were partnered for missions, they worked together very well. The fact that they were friends helped as well, but Merlin worked long enough to know that it always did. Those two understood each other, but apparently that also meant they could get very competitive.

After they got back from their next respective missions, each of them presented Merlin with hats, and it looked like they more or less followed James’ footsteps, choosing the most ridiculous ones they could possibly find – at least that was the first thought that appeared in Merlin’s mind when he received two boxes, one simple cardboard one from Eggsy, and a smaller one, but neatly wrapped in a green wrapping paper with a bow on top, from Roxy.

She clearly looked proud of her skills.

“C’mon, bruv! We ain’t got t’whole day,” Eggsy smirked and Merlin grabbed the green box first, since it laid on top of the brown one. 

As he looked inside, he saw knitted brown hat with two... pompoms on each side. Only when he looked closer at the garment he noticed it was a hat resembling a bear.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Roxy smiled pleasantly, as Eggsy snickered. “It’s well made and very warm, too.”

“Thank ye, Lancelot,” Merlin replied, closing the box, just as Eggsy got impatient. 

“Mine now!”

When he opened the second box, Eggsy stepped closer, so that he was standing right next to Merlin’s chair, leaning in to get a better look. That was what Merlin assumed, at least.

“This is a... knitted Viking hat? Really, Eggsy?”

Eggsy grinned, snagging the hat from the box. “I know! It got a beard, too! Great, ain’t it?”

“Where did you even find it?” Roxy asked, looking at the hat closely as well, and Eggsy’s smile widened, as he leaned against Merlin’s chair a bit.

“Saw a lady sellin’ ‘em. She had knitted scarves, gloves, socks an’ the like, too. All looked good, but that one’s just brilliant. An’ warm, too, I reckon.”

“Well, thank ye. Both of ye,” Merlin said closing the second box. “Those are certainly... special.”

Obviously, Eggsy and Roxy did took that as an encouragement to purchase even more original hats. They always handed him hats at the same time, so he alternated between opening them, since he was certainly playing no favourites.

Since then, among the numerous hats he had received, six of them, three from each, were especially memorable.

Eggsy preferred pop culture-themes hats, Merlin had learned rather quickly. While he did recognize Bert from Sesame Street, woollen and handmade, he had to check what exactly a charizard was. Or a “Deadpool,” to Harry’s endless amusement. Then he remembered he had actually seen this Deadpool character before, when Eggsy told him he should read more comic books, because apparently they were very popular lately.

Three hats from Roxy included a rather adorable woollen penguin hat, a cupcake hat, and a very bright pink beanie with a text that said “On Wednesdays We Wear Pink.” When he saw that one he glanced at her and saw her biting her lip, as if she was trying not to laugh. Eggsy was not as reserved in his reaction. He started laughing very loudly, and leaned against the desk, too, as soon as he saw the beanie. Laughing and declaring defeat, because seeing Merlin actually wear it when talking to the recruits seemed to be a reward in itself.

Merlin did wear it, of course, never batting an eye. 

Later Harry told him it proved to be a good training for their new candidates, since it was hilarious to see them confused, but trying to keep a straight face.

Well, Eggsy couldn’t. He was standing between Harry and Roxy, his head against Harry’s shoulder, trying not to make much noise as he laughed, while Harry was raising one eyebrow at him, a clear amusement in his eyes.

Smug prick.

***

One night while Merlin was sitting at home, reading a book Percival had recommended him, he heard the main door opening and then closing rapidly. Soon, Eggsy entered the living room, grinning, first dropping his backpack on the floor, then, shrugging off his jacket and taking of his cap. There was something downright wicked about his grin, and Merlin closed the book, wondering what Eggsy had planned.

He had informed Merlin and Harry that he was going to meet with Roxy, Amelia, James and Percival, but he also had mentioned that he would bring something for them, so he had asked them to not go to sleep. Merlin had ended up reading, while Harry had been checking the information about one of the next missions he had planned. His responsibilities as the new Arthur had kept him rather busy lately. Merlin had managed to talk him into joining him in the shower, but left him to his work after that. 

“Hullo,” Eggsy murmured. He stepped closer the little pillow on the floor where JB was sleeping and scratched the dog’s head gently, smiling at him, before walking up to the armchair where Merlin was sitting. He sprawled half on the armrest and half in Merlin’s lap, wrapping one arm around his shoulders, completely ignoring the fact that Merlin was reading just a second earlier.

“Good evening,” Merlin replied, putting the book away and pressing a soft kiss to Eggsy’s smiling mouth. He couldn’t taste nor smell the alcohol, so Eggsy had not been to a pub. “Done for today, are ye?”

“Yup. Harry’s home, too, right?”

“Yes, I am.”

Eggsy turned his head as Harry walked closer. He kissed Eggsy softly, then pressed a kiss to the top of Merlin’s head as well. 

“Was your ‘night out’ fun?” Harry asked, sitting on the second armchair and Eggsy nodded.

“James and Percy went home early, so I stayed with Rox and Amelia, but t’was fun,” he said, snagging his backpack from the floor. “An’ I brought ya a gift!”

“Oh?” Harry raised one eyebrow, and Merlin did the same. “Is that why you wanted us to stay awake?”

“Yup. Here ya go,” he took out a bundle wrapped in a brown paper and with a white bow on top, most likely handmade, and handed it to Merlin.

“And I get nothing?” Harry scowled, and only then Eggsy took out a second bundle, wrapped similarly to the one he gave to Merlin.

“Here,” the armchairs were standing close enough so Eggsy didn’t have to get up to hand Harry his gift, and the lad blushed slightly when Harry pressed a quick kiss to his hand before he took the gift. “Ya can open it now.”

“Impatient much, love?” Harry asked, but and he and Merlin unwrapped the gifts at the same time, Harry snorting as soon as he laid his eyes on the content of his bundle.

“Oh, those are certainly charming. Did you get one for yourself as well?” he asked, and Merlin shook his head, smiling. 

“I did. Brilliant, right?” he glanced at the hats. “Kingsman, ya know. Knights, all proper-like. Everyone wanted t’see them before I gave them to ya.”

Eggsy bought them grey, knitted knight helmets. 

“They’re lovely, thank you, Eggsy,” Harry got up and kissed Eggsy again, caressing the lad’s cheek with his thumb. “But it’s half past midnight, and I, contrary to you, should be up before six tomorrow. Shall we go to bed?”

“Yer the boss now, Harry, can’t ya take a day off once?”

“We’ll see.”

Merlin kissed Eggsy before the lad could reply, then turned to press a kiss to Harry’s hand.

“Ye both go, I’ll be there soon. I’ll just go put these away,” he said, grabbing the hats in one hand. Eggsy groaned when Merlin patted his thigh, but he got up as well.

After Harry and Eggsy went upstairs, Merlin went to his office and slid open the biggest drawer in their wardrobe. It was full of hats already, since Merlin had to transport most of them from his office at work, but in this drawer he kept all the hats he had received and from Eggsy and from Harry.

He carefully put the hats on top of the rest, enjoying how they looked together. The Bert hat was there as well, and so was the Ernie hat Eggsy had apparently bought for Harry. A smile tugged at his lips when he thought about it.

Merlin closed the drawer quietly, and after checking the locks and the security once again, went upstairs to join his lovers in bed.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fill for [*THIS*](http://dressing-room3.livejournal.com/405.html?thread=298133#t298133%20) prompt at Kingsman Kink Meme, [Dressing Room 3](http://dressing-room3.livejournal.com/)
> 
> It took me some time, but I really wanted to write this fic. Merlin is amazing and when I found this prompt, I was really glad I could write something that focused on him. Writing this one was a lot of fun!
> 
> Here are all the glorious hats:  
> From James: [Rainbow Mohawk](http://www.amazon.co.uk/Rainbow-Stripe-Pattern-Mohawk-Earflaps/dp/B00H12B99G/ref=sr_1_360?s=clothing&ie=UTF8&qid=1439876464&sr=1-360), [Nessie Hat](http://www.amazon.co.uk/Fun-Nessie-Hat-Tail-Tartan/dp/B0057SXF70/ref=sr_1_157?s=clothing&ie=UTF8&qid=1439875521&sr=1-157), [Bad Hair Day Beanie](http://www.amazon.co.uk/4sold-hair-beanie-black-white/dp/B00GNBV0MW/ref=sr_1_12?s=clothing&ie=UTF8&qid=1439875795&sr=1-12)  
> From Percival: [Knitted Chullo](http://www.natureperu.com/product_info.php?cPath=28_33&products_id=122&osCsid=r1vlojeg9mg5nvblcdsmovq923)  
> From Amelia: [Moustache Hat](http://www.amazon.co.uk/4sold-hats-beanie-mustache-black/dp/B00GL4M6HE/ref=sr_1_321?s=clothing&ie=UTF8&qid=1439876366&sr=1-321)  
> From Roxy: [Bear Hat](http://www.amazon.co.uk/Animal-Beanie-Hat-in-Brown/dp/B0096MQD68/ref=sr_1_405?s=clothing&ie=UTF8&qid=1439876559&sr=1-405), [Penguin Hat](http://www.amazon.co.uk/Penguin-Handmade-Winter-Woollen-Animal/dp/B00A4A5DWQ/ref=sr_1_308?s=clothing&ie=UTF8&qid=1439876366&sr=1-308), [Cupcake Hat](http://www.amazon.co.uk/Neff-Womens-Cup-Cake-Beanie/dp/B003PPQ66E/ref=sr_1_166?s=clothing&ie=UTF8&qid=1439875521&sr=1-166), [On Wednesdays We Wear Pink Beanie](http://www.amazon.co.uk/Wednesdays-Wear-Beanie-Fuchsia-Bobble/dp/B00FF57K9E/ref=sr_1_305?s=clothing&ie=UTF8&qid=1439876366&sr=1-305)  
> From Eggsy: [Viking Hat](http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hengsong-Winter-Children-Knitted-Crochet/dp/B00P5R2FPQ/ref=sr_1_133?s=clothing&ie=UTF8&qid=1439875973&sr=1-133), [Deadpool Hat](http://www.amazon.co.uk/Marvel-Deadpool-Emblem-Logo-Beanie/dp/B00QAT5J2O/ref=sr_1_234?s=clothing&ie=UTF8&qid=1439876300&sr=1-234), [Charizard Hat](http://www.amazon.co.uk/Toy-Zany-Pokemon-Charizard-Beanie/dp/B00NG29E56/ref=sr_1_715?s=clothing&ie=UTF8&qid=1439876857&sr=1-715), [Bert Hat](http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sesame-Street-Handmade-Winter-Woollen/dp/B00A4A5GIM/ref=sr_1_1338?s=clothing&ie=UTF8&qid=1439877305&sr=1-1338), [Ernie Hat](http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sesame-Street-Handmade-Winter-Woollen/dp/B00A4A5ISA/ref=pd_sim_193_1?ie=UTF8&refRID=0B5C2TRMNKBW1BV6KRN1&dpSrc=sims&dpST=_AC_UL200_SR160%2C200_), [Knitted Knight Hat](http://www.amazon.co.uk/LOCOMO-Knight-Helmet-Cosplay-FFH088GRY/dp/B00HECQT7K/ref=sr_1_191?s=clothing&ie=UTF8&qid=1439875997&sr=1-191)
> 
> Thanks for beta to **[lil-1337](http://lil-1337.livejournal.com/)** and **[andrea-deer](http://andrea-deer.livejournal.com/)**.


End file.
